How to Write Satire Without Offending Anyone (Impossible Edition)

How
to
Write
Satire
Without
Offending
Anyone
(Impossible
Edition)

Understanding
Satire’s
Risky
Nature

Satire,
by
definition,
is
meant
to
critique
and
mock
societal
flaws,
which
means
someone
will
always
take
it
personally.
The
key
is
to
accept
that
offense
is
inevitable—like
taxes
or
accidentally
liking
an
ex’s
Instagram
post
from
2017.

Step
1:
Identify
Safe
Targets
(Spoiler:
There
Are
None)

You
might
think
making
fun
of
politicians,
billionaires,
or
self-help
gurus
is
safe.
Wrong.
Even
the
most
universally
disliked
figures
have
stans.
The
trick?
Mock
ideas,
not
individuals—unless
it’s
a
dictator;
they’re
fair
game.

Step
2:
Use
Exaggeration,
Not
Direct
Insults

Instead
of
calling
someone
“a
corrupt
idiot,”
depict
them
as
a
literal

cartoon
villain
who
trips
over
their
own
greed.
Exaggeration
creates
plausible
deniability.
Example:
“In
today’s
news,
Congress
passed
a
bill
requiring
babies
to
file
taxes.”

Step
3:
The
“It’s
Just
a
Joke”
Defense

When
backlash
hits,
deploy
the
classic
satirist’s
shield:
“It’s
satire!”
If
that
fails,
blame
the
reader’s
lack
of
humor.
Bonus
points
for
quoting

Jonathan
Swift’s
“A
Modest
Proposal”
to
sound
cultured.

Step
4:
Accept
Your
Fate

You
will
be
misunderstood.
You
will
be
quoted
out
of
context.
You
might
get
canceled.
Wear
it
as
a
badge
of
honor.
True
satire
thrives
on
discomfort.

Advanced
Techniques

1.
The
“Reverse
Poe”
(Satire
So
Subtle
It’s
Mistaken
for
Reality)

Write
something
so
absurd
it
loops
back
to
seeming
true.
Example:
“Amazon
announces
new
Alexa
feature
that
sighs
judgmentally
when
you
order
junk
food.”

2.
The
“Bait-and-Switch”
Headline

Lure
readers
with
a
believable
premise,
then
hit
them
with
absurdity.
Example:
“Study
Finds
99%
of
Humans
Are
Made
of
Recycled
Star
Matter—Remaining
1%
Is
Influencer
Ego.”

3.
The
“Hyperbolic
Solution”

Propose
an
outrageous
fix
to
a
real
problem.
Example:
“To
solve
climate
change,
we’ll
genetically
engineer
politicians
to
photosynthesize.”

Conclusion

Satire
is
a
minefield,
but
that’s
the
point.
If
no
one’s
offended,
you’re
doing
it
wrong.
Now
go
forth
and
mock
responsibly
(or
irresponsibly—we’re
not
your
boss).