Burned,
Bland,
and
Beyond
Saving:
Kitchen
Catastrophes
Food
Mishaps
—
Satirist’s
Bible
Food
Mishaps
Why
Your
Cooking
Should
Come
with
a
Fire
Extinguisher
Food
Fails:
When
Edible
Is
a
Compliment
1.
The
Smoke
Alarm
Sous
Chef
Your
kitchen
isn’t
a
restaurantit’s
a
Code
Red
emergency.
If
the
smoke
detector
isn’t
cheering
you
on,
are
you
even
trying?
2.
The
Pinterest
Lie
That
5-minute,
3-ingredient
recipe?
It’s
actually
a
4-hour
excavation
of
your
self-worth.
Bon
appétit.
3.
The
Oil
Splatter
Art
Your
shirt
now
looks
like
a
Jackson
Pollock.
The
bacon?
Somewhere
between
raw
and
cremated.
Abstract
cuisine!
4.
The
Salt
Apocalypse
Who
knew
one
teaspoon
could
mean
the
entire
box?
Your
pasta
water
could
preserve
a
mummy.
5.
The
Baking
Betrayal
The
cookies
spread
into
one
mega-cookie.
Congratulationsyou’ve
invented
the
concept
of
edible
cement.
6.
The
Grill
Inferno
Your
burgers
aren’t
charredthey’re
carbon-based
life
forms.
The
dog
won’t
even
fake
enthusiasm.
7.
The
Expensive
Mistake
That
$50
truffle
oil
now
tastes
like
feet
and
regret.
Five-star
reviews
were
clearly
planted.
8.
The
Microwave
Murder
Three
minutes?
More
like
three
seconds
before
it
resembles
a
nuclear
test
site.
RIP,
leftovers.
9.
The
Dinner
Party
Guests
are
arriving
in
10.
The
chicken’s
still
frozen.
Time
to
order
pizza
and
pretend
this
was
the
plan.
10.
The
Spice
Roulette
A
pinch
of
cayenne
became
a
cup.
Your
face
is
now
a
biological
hazard.
Evacuate
the
premises.
11.
The
Vegan
Experiment
Tofu
scramble:
part
concrete,
part
existential
crisis.
Even
the
compost
bin
rejected
it.
12.
The
Fondue
Fiasco
Romantic
dinner?
Now
your
carpet
smells
like
burnt
cheese
and
broken
dreams.
Swipe
right
on
Uber
Eats.
13.
The
Bread
Brick
Sourdough
starters
are
alive.
Yours
is
dead.
So
are
your
dreams
of
artisanal
baking.
14.
The
Takeout
Deception
You
tried
to
pass
off
restaurant
food
as
homemade.
The
containers
in
the
trash
tell
the
truth.
And
your
shame.
15.
The
Final
Surrender
You
own
17
cookbooks.
They’re
decorative.
The
microwave
beepsyour
gourmet
meal
is
ready.
Image
Gallery
Food
Mishaps
—
Satirist’s
Bible
Burned,
Bland,
and
Beyond
Saving:
Kitchen
Catastrophes
Mishaps
–
A
wide-aspect,
close-up
cartoon
illustration
in
the
exaggerated,
satirical
style
of
Bohiney.com
Satirical
Magazine
Bible
–
A
wide,
detailed
cartoon
illustration
in
the
style
of
Al
Jaffee,
titled
‘Encyclopedia
of
Satire.’
Food
Mishaps
Bland,
and
Beyond
Saving:
Kitchen
Catastrophes
–
A
wide,
detailed
cartoon
illustration
in
the
style
of
Al
Jaffee,
titled
‘Encyclopedia
of
Satire.’
Source:
Satirist;s
Bible/
More
Food
Mishaps
Satire:
Bohiney
Magazine
Go to Source
Author: Ingrid Gustafsson