Toxic Relationships
Category: Comedy
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Travis Kelce And Taylor Swift
Travis Kelce And Taylor Swift
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Trump And Msnbc
Trump And Msnbc
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Trump Announces New External Revenue Service
Trump Announces New External Revenue Service
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The Face Does Half the Work
The Face Does Half the Work: Why Your Eyebrows Might Be Funnier Than Your Material by Alan Nafzger | ComedyWriter.info Stand-up comics spend years trying …
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Intellectual Arrogance
Too Smart to Be Funny: How Intellectual Arrogance Kills a Room by Alan Nafzger | ComedyWriter.info There’s nothing quite like watching a comedy audience collectively …
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Punching Down
When Punching Down Becomes a Career Move (and Other Open Mic Crimes) by Alan Nafzger | ComedyWriter.info There’s an unspoken rule in comedy: Punch up. …
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The Laugh Vampire
The Laugh Vampire: Why Some Comics Drain the Room and Call It Art by Alan Nafzger | ComedyWriter.info Every comedy scene has one. The comic …
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Body Language Beats Wordplay
Body Language Beats Wordplay: When Movement Gets the Laugh by Alan Nafzger | ComedyWriter.info It’s a tale as old as stand-up: The comic walks onstage, …
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Top 20 Tim Walz Jokes
Top 20 Tim Walz Jokes
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Top Criticisms Of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz
Top Criticisms Of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz
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Tour De Food From Finish Line To Fine Dining
Tour De Food From Finish Line To Fine Dining
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How to Find Your Unique Comedic Voice
How to Find Your Unique Comedic Voice: A Step-by-Step Guide By Alan Nafzger, Ph.D. — Professor, Screenwriter, Comedy Writer, and Author of “Laughing Matters: A …
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Comedy Writing Tips
Comedy Writing Tips: A Real Guide to Writing Jokes That Actually Land Comedy writing is an ancient and noble art, dating back to when one …
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Satirizing Power: Humor as a Tool for Change
Satirizing Power How to Write Comedy That Topples Giants and Still Gets Booked Again Tone: Bold, insurgent, and smart-like a revolution disguised as a punchline. …
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Writing for Comedic Actors
Writing for Comedic Actors: Tailoring Material to Talent How to Write Comedy That Fits Like a Punchline-Crafted Tuxedo Why Writing for Comedic Actors Is Not …
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Mastering Deadpan Humor: Less is More
Mastering Deadpan Humor: Less is More Deadpan humor, often called “dry humor,” is the comedic equivalent of poker. You’re bluffing your audience into laughter by …
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Top 10 Weird Political Leaders In History
Top 10 Weird Political Leaders In History
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Top 20 Coach Walz Jokes
Top 20 Coach Walz Jokes
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Top 20 Kamala Harris Jokes
Top 20 Kamala Harris Jokes
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Writing First Date Fails: Awkward Meals, Mistimed Jokes, and Bathroom Escapes
How to write cringe-filled chaos in Relationships & Dating Comedy (featuring broken menus, ghosted appetizers, and SpinTaxi-worthy exits)
The post Writing First Date Fails: Awkward Meals, Mistimed Jokes, and Bathroom Escapes appeared first on Comedy Writer.
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The Anatomy of a Standup Set
The Anatomy of a Standup Set: A Medical Dissection of Humor Gone Rogue WARNING: The Following Contains Graphic Levels of Self-Esteem Damage If you’ve ever …
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Why Physical Comedy Will Outlive Civilization
Laugh First, Think Never: Why Physical Comedy Will Outlive Civilization The Jokes Will Fade, But the Faceplant Will Echo Through Time Imagine this: the year …
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Turning Breakups Into Punchlines (With Only Slight Bitterness)
How to mine heartbreak for humor in Relationships & Dating Comedy, following the satirical blueprint of SpinTaxis most damaged romantics
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How to Master Setup, Punchline, and Timing
The Science and Craft of Comedy: How to Master Setup, Punchline, and Timing An In-Depth Guide for Stand-Up Comedy and Speech Communication Introduction: Why Structure …
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Tony Soprano To Clean Up New York Politics
Tony Soprano To Clean Up New York Politics
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Top 10 Misunderstandings Held By Palestinian Student Protestors
Top 10 Misunderstandings Held By Palestinian Student Protestors
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Top 10 Weird Business Leaders In History
Top 10 Weird Business Leaders In History
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Top 10 Weird Military Leaders In History
Top 10 Weird Military Leaders In History
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Trump Purchakes the Statue of Liberty’s Torch at Auction
Very Weak Flaming Says New Owner While Installing LED Upgrade
Liberty’s New Lightbulb Moment
In a move that left patriots clutching their pocket Constitutions, Donald Trump successfully outbid several museums and a confused French delegation to purchase Lady Liberty’s original torch at a Christie’s auction for $47 million. “The flame was pathetic, just terrible,” Trump told reporters while having workers install “a beautiful, huge, Trump-brand LED system that won’t go out like some loser’s birthday candles.”
Renovation Controversy
The National Park Service erupted in protest when Trump’s contractors gold-plated the torch’s base and added rotating Trump Tower-style lighting. “It’s now the brightest object in New York Harbor,” explained one engineer, “and unfortunately also projects 30-foot tall ‘TRUMP’ letters onto nearby buildings every 7 minutes.” Cultural critics noted the new “American Gothic” font choice made the monument resemble a casino sign.
Historical Revisionism
Trump’s newly published “Guide to the REAL Statue of Liberty” claims the torch was “always meant to be a backup for my beautiful hair” and that the original French designs included a Trump coat of arms that “the deep state sanded off.” At the relighting ceremony, he unveiled a plaque reading “Gifted by Donald J. Trump (Very Successful Businessman)” beneath Emma Lazarus’s poem.
Immigration Policy Shift
The Department of Homeland Security announced new “Trump Torch Visas” requiring immigrants to “pass under the glow while reciting two nice things about my properties.” Border agents were issued light meters to measure applicants’ “appropriate awe levels.” When reporters noted this violated the statue’s purpose, Trump responded: “Nothing more welcoming than a 10-million-lumen security light pointed at your face.”
International Backlash
France recalled its ambassador after Trump tweeted that the statue’s face “should really look more like Melania.” The EU Parliament passed a resolution calling the LED installation “a crime against symbolism,” while Russia gifted Trump an identical torch “that doesn’t require pesky freedom to operate.” Meanwhile, Trump’s lawyers sent cease-and-desist letters to all major flashlight manufacturers for “torch-related trademark infringement.”
Economic Impact
Wall Street analysts estimate the new “Liberty Tower” casino and timeshare complex being built around the torch’s base could generate “$300 million annually in patriotic profits.” Nearby Ellis Island has been rebranded “Trump Immigration Checkpoint & Gift Shop,” where visitors can purchase “Make Liberty Bright Again” hoodies and frozen Trump-brand “Freedom Cones.”
Final Insult
The controversy reached its peak when Trump threatened to “turn off the light for good” unless NYC granted him air rights over all of Lower Manhattan. As officials scrambled to respond, he live-tweeted the statue’s original torch being melted down to make “limited edition Trump Freedom Medallions.” When asked about preserving history, Trump shrugged: “The only history that matters is the history I’m making right now – and believe me, it’s yuge.”
Trump Purchakes the Statue of Liberty’s Torch at Auction – Very Weak Flaming Says New Owner While Installing LED Upgrade SOURCE: Who Is Donald Trump?
The post Trump Purchakes the Statue of Liberty’s Torch at Auction appeared first on SpinTaxi Magazine.
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Trump Declares Himself Emperor of Mars
NASA Scientists Resign After Being Forced to Build Gold-Plated Rover
Red Planet, Red Face
In an interplanetary power grab that left astrophysicists questioning their life choices, Donald Trump live-streamed his coronation as Emperor of Mars from a Las Vegas hotel room decorated to look like the Martian surface. “The Perseverance rover found definite evidence of election fraud,” Trump declared while wearing a spacesuit accessorized with a golden belt buckle reading “MAGA – Mars Always Grants Authority.”
First Imperial Decrees
Trump’s inaugural Mars edicts included renaming Olympus Mons “Trump Mons” (“much bigger than Everest, everyone says so”), replacing the Martian north star with a hologram of his face, and declaring all water ice “Trump Ice – the best space water.” NASA engineers wept openly when ordered to construct a 500-foot golf resort inside Valles Marineris, complete with “the galaxy’s first extraterrestrial clubhouse.”
Scientific Backlash
Seventeen NASA planetary scientists immediately resigned when Trump demanded they “fix” Mars’ atmosphere to better match Earth’s 1950s climate data. “He wants us to pump in oxygen but also keep it red for branding,” said one former researcher, now drinking heavily at a Cape Canaveral dive bar. Meanwhile, SpaceX employees discovered Trump had sharpied his signature onto actual Mars photos stored in their archives.
Political Fallout
The UN Office for Outer Space Affairs called an emergency session after Trump tweeted that Earth’s moon “owes Mars millions in tidal debt.” China’s space program abruptly changed all its Mars mission names to avoid trademark lawsuits, while Elon Musk was seen frantically deleting old tweets about Martian colonization. Back on Earth, Trump’s legal team filed paperwork claiming mineral rights to the asteroid belt, calling it “the ultimate eminent domain.”
Martian Economy
Trump’s newly established Mars Treasury introduced the “Trump Credit” (backed by “the full faith and credit of being me”). Early attempts at interplanetary trade stalled when Trump demanded all Earth exports to Mars pay a 300% “gravity tariff” and be delivered to “the beautiful Trump Space Dock (formerly Phobos).” Economists warn his plan to replace Mars’ two moons with “one big, classy moon” could destabilize the entire solar system.
Cultural Impact
Hollywood scrambled to reshoot Mars-themed movies, with “The Martian” now ending with Matt Damon surrendering to Trump’s Space Force. The Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum closed its Mars exhibit after Trump threatened to “repossess the rocks.” Meanwhile, a new cult calling themselves “The Mar-a-Lago Martians” began constructing a compound in Arizona to practice “living under His Emperorship’s glorious red light.”
Final Frontier
The saga reached its climax when Trump announced plans to run for President of Jupiter “because the gas giants are being terribly mismanaged.” As astronomers worldwide began drinking heavily, Trump’s legal team served Saturn with papers claiming its rings “create unfair competition for my gold-plated space stations.” When reminded Jupiter has no solid surface, Trump simply tweeted: “FAKE SCIENCE! I’ll build one – the best surface – and make the asteroids pay for it.”
Trump Declares Himself Emperor of Mars – NASA Scientists Resign After Being Forced to Build Gold-Plated Rover SOURCE: Who Is Donald Trump?
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Trump Trademarks the Letter “T”
Nobody Uses It Better Says Former President in Cease-and-Desist Frenzy
The Ultimate Branding Power Move
In a legal maneuver that left linguists and lawyers equally speechless, Donald Trump filed trademark claims for the uppercase letter “T,” declaring it “central to my personal brand” and demanding royalties from every alphabet book, church steeple, and Scrabble tile in America. “I made the T tremendous,” Trump asserted at a press conference where he unveiled a 30-foot golden “T” at Mar-a-Lago. “Now its time to get paid.”
The Legal Onslaught Begins
Trumps legal team fired off 1,947 cease-and-desist letters in 24 hours, targeting everything from Tiffany & Co. to the T-rex exhibit at the Natural History Museum (“Thats clearly a Trump Rex”). The IRS scrambled to respond after Trump claimed ownership of the “T” in “1040,” while Tyson Foods received a bill for $4.2 million in back royalties. “This is nuts,” said one trademark attorney, before receiving a countersuit for “defamation via lowercase.”
Economic Fallout
The stock markets “T” ticker symbol was temporarily halted after Trump threatened to “take it private.” AT&T rebranded overnight as “Ampersand&T,” while Tesla stores covered their logos with tape reading “Tesla (formerly T) until further notice.” Starbucks baristas wept as they hand-corrected “Venti” to “Veni” on cups. Meanwhile, Trumps new “T-PAC” raised $20 million from panicked corporations in a single day.
International Incident
The UN Security Council held an emergency session after Trump tweeted that the “T in NATO stands for Trump.” Frances president quipped, “Well just call it ‘he Alliance,’” prompting Trump to trademark the word “The” the following morning. China quietly renamed itself “Ch-ina,” while Trumps lawyers subpoenaed the periodic table for “unauthorized use of elemental symbols.”
Cultural Chaos
Publishers yanked copies of “To Kill a Mockingbird” from shelves, rebinding them as “o Kill a Mockingbird.” The New York Times became “he New York imes,” though readers noted little difference in content. Broadways “Hamilton” performed a special “Amilton” matinee, while Trumps revised Biblenow titled “rumps Word”featured commandments like “Thou shalt not steal my Ts.”
The Resistance
A coalition of typographers and toddlers launched the “Free the T” movement, vandalizing Trump properties with Helvetica flyers. Merriam-Webster defiantly announced the letter would now be called “Tee (see: tyranny)” in its dictionary. “He cant own a letter,” said one protester, whose “STOP” sign now read “S OP.” Trump responded by trademarking the protestors face “for unauthorized frown usage.”
Final Twist
The saga reached its peak when Trump was served papers by his own legal teamthe letterhead now violated his trademark. As he angrily sharpied over the offending “T” on the subpoena, aides reported he muttered, “Maybe I shouldve started with Q.” The next day, he filed for rights to the entire Latin alphabet, calling it “my next beautiful wall.”
Trump Trademarks the Letter “T” – Nobody Uses It Better Says Former President in Cease-and-Desist Frenzy SOURCE: Who Is Donald Trump?
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